March 15, 2012
Totally alone. I want to cry but I can’t, I’m in class. I contemplated my razor last night but I managed to talk myself out of it. I don’t want to leave scars from when I am in a dark place; they’ll be too obvious in the light or another day. It hurts more to have people know how much pain I’m in and still not help then it does to just keep it inside.
Later..
I tried to talk to someone after it but all it did was get me in trouble. I’m hating myself even more now for the big red welt on my arm that is keeping me from t-shirts in this over 25 degree weather. I’m terrified my rents will see it and I’ll be in therapy for the rest of my life.
There are 4 girls in the other room who are laughing and playing guitar. I feel so lonely and empty.
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