"Sexy Crazy"

Today I was asked if “insane” or “crazy” are offensive terms to people with a mental illness. My response was simply “I can only speak on a personal level but it depends on how the term is used.” I have heard those with anorexia or depression called insane which greatly offended me because I have personal (either myself or through good friends) experience with these and also don’t think any of my friends are crazy. However, I would probably call anyone who had a psychotic break and lost control of themselves, crazy at least in the moment. Maybe that’s completely unfair of me and proof of my own ignorance and if so I certainly hope someone will correct me. To sum this matter up; I’ve never had experience with a psychotic break or episode but since I know how much it sucks to be called crazy I’d say try and avoid the term in reference to another human. People are all people.

NOW, to address possibly the phrase that offends me most..again. “Sexy crazy.” I have now not only heard this said in reference to eating disorders but self-harm as well and as long as it keeps coming up, I will keep writing about it. Sexy…the aesthetic definition of this word changes constantly, from decade to decade and now it has come to be girls who are literally just skin and bones and those (to my personal horror) with cuts/burns/bruises. I addressed how far from glamorous eating disorders are in “Skip dinner, Be thinner” so now I will speak to why self-harm is NOT sexy.

17,500 Canadians were hospitalized for self-harm in 2010.

Someone trying to make a statement produced a fake ad recently that appeared as Claire’s (an accessory store for younger girls) was now selling fake cuts to represent being cool/emo without “that hassle and pain.” When this popped up on my tumblr page my heart dropped and I was googling whether or not it was real ASAP because I completely believed that that’s where society had stooped to. I have real scars from knives, tweezers and razors not to mention my anxiety attack induced friction burns. The point of self-harm is the pain and inflicting pain on yourself is nothing to idolize, glamourize or accessorize. Personally, I cut because I didn’t know how else to cope with the unyielding pain I had mentally.

I know some guys think that “crazy” girls are better in bed and that’s a large part of what makes it sexy. This is false and in fact the number of times I have broken down in tears mid-make out session is staggeringly high. Those poor guys who were just hoping to get lucky (in whatever capacity that may be) then had to deal with the ugly torturer and torment that accompany the self-harm wounds. Actually, seeing my cuts and scars constantly triggered a guy I was seeing at the time to begin burning himself regularly with a Zippo. Sexy, eh?

I am not stupid. I am aware that there are people who have a sexual fetish towards pain That is an area I am simply not educated in and so cannot address it properly but I can say that “getting with” someone who has scars or other evidence of self-harm will NOT ensure you have a fun night.

All that having been said, I obviously do not believe that those who have a mental illness of any kind are any less human. Everyone goes through the good and the bad times. When I was breaking down while kissing someone it was not solely because I am depressed; it was due to a low in my life that effected my mental state drastically. Not everyone who depression will wreck a moment like that with uncontrollable crying. Not one person is exactly like the next; we all have different stories and all of them are worth telling. I write about my own experiences and opinions. I do not have all the facts and cannot speak for everyone with a mental illness so please feel free to disagree where you see fit.