"We live in a society of victimization, where people are much more comfortable being victimized than actually standing up for themselves."
Much to my dismay, I find this to be 100% true. Everyone who
has come to me recently looking for advice has been stuck in the mindset that
they are their mental illness’ victim. They are a victim to social stigma. They
are a victim to their family’s ignorance. They are defeated and owned by it,
more than anything they just want it to go away and to feel “normal”. Don’t we
all?
The problem lies with the fact that they aren’t willing to do anything about it; they won’t stand
up for themselves. All that I have been able to say to these people is that
nothing really changes or gets better until you get off your butt and start
fighting for it. I know this isn’t the answer people want to hear, everyone
really just wants me to give them a magic solution that will solve
it-preferably something that involves no professional help or talking to anyone
close to them about their struggles.
There is nothing wrong with wallowing for a bit. That is to
say that it is healthy to allow yourself to feel down, actually I believe that
feeling down is the only way to feeling better. You have to let yourself be
sad, depressed or whatnot in order to hit a point where you say, “I’m done
feeling like crap, time to get up and move forward.”
Also, in my not-so-professional opinion…there is no way
around professional help. People think it classifies them as “crazy” or
something if they seek help from someone with a (relevant) degree (preferably a
PhD), it doesn’t. It really makes you ahead of the game because at least you’re then getting the help you need. Chances are you’re a lot more “crazy” when you
aren’t getting any help at all.
Back to victimization; why are we as a society more
comfortable with being a victim than being our own hero? Is it that we’re all
waiting for a hero to save us or is it that we’ve all just lost our backbones?
OK that sounded a bit harsh, but I stand by my point. We are turning into a
bunch of wimps. Don’t confuse me saying this with my condoning what I mentioned
in Working Out Self-Harm –I am not
directing this at any one group of people, it’s our whole society. We keep
saying things like “the media makes girls feel…” or, “…is to blame for this
mental illness,” stop it. Yes, the media does affect girls, teens, everyone
really but we all know that, we all know it’s an issue and completely falsified
so why do we keep buying into it? Well I believe it’s an excuse for us to go on
feeling like victims to some all-powerful being.
You are not a victim to your struggles because they make you
sad. That doesn’t make you its prey. You only allow yourself to be victimized
by it when you relinquish control of your life to it. It is healthy to allow
yourself to be sad sometimes; but you don’t have
to, you allow it. If you wanted you could shove it away so that you don’t have
to address it and nobody can see it; that too is a choice (just a terribly unhealthy
one).
Nobody else is responsible for making you happy. You have to decide to pursue happiness and find your own ways of bringing it to your life.
A lot of people weren’t fans of Marilyn Manson and I’m not
condoning everything he said or did but what nobody can deny is that he was who
he was and didn’t make excuses for his actions or the way he felt.
While making the decision to stand up for yourself or not,
take into consideration that everyone is looked up to by someone. If you choose
to wallow forever, sit in self-pity endlessly and never own up to your choices,
remember this:
“This is the culture you're raising your kids in. Don't be
surprised if it blows up in your face.”