Having just read a Maclean’s magazine University edition and
being in my final 160 (but who’s counting?) days of high school; I found Gordan
Flett’s thoughts on mental illness and perfectionism during post-secondary
education, riveting.
In recent surveys done in Canadian universities, six of 10
students in the last year admit to having had a debilitating attack of anxiety
as well as 4 of 10 having depression. The stats are something to be noted given
that in Canada 2.5/10 people report having a mental illness. Why is it so much
higher in university? Personally I was hoping that high school would be the
roughest go of it for both me and my peers, so that there is under 200 days
left of it…but here we are, facing stats that say “sorry guys, that was just
the beginning. Here comes the next 4 years (at least).” Splendid.
One of the greatest concerns according to Flett is that
students who most need help aren’t showing signs that indicate this and so are
not getting the help they need. Many are not seeking the help they need because
they think it classifies them as a failure if they have to ask for help. They
procrastinate looking into services to help them and at York University in
Toronto; by January the waiting list can be north of 200 anyway so they feel it’s
pointless to try.
Many students report feeling terrible with nobody who knows
about it and like many other issue that this generation faces; social media is
a serious factor in making it worse. Students are logging onto their Facebook/
Instagram or whatever else and seeing pictures or status about how much fun
their peers are having. In doing so they are making themselves feel more
isolated as they don’t feel as happy as those people in the pictures look. The
truth of the matter is that the number of red cups or people per photo does not
dictate where your friend’s happiness level lies. They could be feeling just as
terrible or alone as you but are portraying the typical university experience
on their media outlets for appearance sake. To this issue Flett has a few wise
words for everyone in or going into this stage, “you’re going to think
everybody’s doing great, and they’re not.”
He noted that when you search perfectionism online, many
horrific stories appear about students who took their own lives. He and I have
a similar reaction to this, “it didn’t need to happen.” Something as simple as
knowing that they weren’t the only one struggling with those pressures, could
have saved a life. Between that idea and trying to turn social media into
something positive is why The War Paint exists.
“People need to be kinder to themselves and not blame
themselves for things that are beyond their control. Life is hard enough.”
Exactly! My peers (as well as many others, I’m sure) seem to reject this
concept and believe that they must be perfect and if they achieve that then
nothing will ever go wrong. Another huge issue is that many kids have not been
allowed to fail for the majority of their life and so they are faced with
addressing this issue in a much more intense environment, at university.
I know that this will shock some but I have been referred to
as ideal/perfect…the ideal mentally ill person that is. My knee jerk reaction
to this is usually, “are you joking? I don’t get it…” The explanation often
consists of pointing out that I ask for help when I need it and am willing to
talk about my problems. Ha. As many of my friends can attest to, I am still not
great at asking for help and often turn it down, much to their frustration. I
am willing to talk about my problems and that does work in my favour but it
took me a really long time to get there.
It’s hard to be open and it’s even harder to admit that you
need help but nothing will improve until you do.