There is nothing I loath more than hearing the phrase, “you
should get help” or something to that effect. Frankly, as I’m sure some of you
can relate to, I feel a bit too…overqualified (if you will) to be told I should
seek help. I know very well the mental state I am in and will get help when I’m
ready. I realize that this isn’t the case for some.
Some people need tough love to get up and get help if
they’re unable to help themselves. I certainly needed that at one point to and
occasionally still do but will only hear it if it’s from someone who knows me.
My best friends don’t say that kind of thing anymore; now it’s more like, “I
get it, just know I’m here if you need me or whenever you’re ready to talk.”
That’s it. That’s all it takes.
It’s hard to see someone you can about struggling, or worse,
wallowing in their own hurt/sadness/depression. Everybody wants to be the hero
that helped someone but sometimes that leads to them trying too hard. Knowing
what to say when a friend tells you about how they’re going through a rough
time isn’t a skill anyone is born with; it takes practice and serious
understanding of what you would want people to say to you if the roles were
reversed.
If I have learned anything in my time coping with mental
illnesses it’s that nobody will get better and take advantage of any help until
they are ready. The closest thing to telling someone they need help that may
actually be effective is making sure the person knows that resources are there
when he or she does decide they are ready for help.
Life is hard sometimes. Part of why I don’t actually mind
being known as the mental illness girl is that it means people around me know
I’m here and get it. It’s most frustrating when people come to me for advice, I
give them whatever I have and then they don’t put it to use. Having said that,
I’ve never been good at taking my own advice either.
The biggest trouble with telling someone they need help is
that you suggest that they are “crazier” than the average person. Very few
people are comfortable being singled out in that way and the truth of the
matter is that we all have a little bit of crazy in us; we all have baggage,
challenges and things we don’t like about ourselves. We all need help.
Sorry, but if you know you are depressed but are like "I am not ready for treatment yet" it will only lead you to the point where your mom finds you covered in blood on the floor and you will finally be forced.
ReplyDeleteBtw, this has happened to me more than once, I know what I am talking about. And not admitting that you are crazy doesn't make you any less crazy.
very very true, if you don't say it that doesn't mean it's not true. look at the post This Isn't Depression. Again, you're correct that the rock bottom some people hit before getting help can be very dark but for the most part, an addict won't quit or go to rehab unless they're ready to get better, family or friends constantly pointing out that they should often won't help the matter.
DeleteThere are also counseling/information centers (had to look it up so im not quite sure wich term is correct) that can give you some help. They shouldalso be able to tell you wether you should go to a therapist. Even not so severe depreession needs treatment, else it will get worse and waiting lists are usually about at least 6 months before you get in either way.
Delete(The same anon as before :) )