Chink In The Armour

Why is faith in yourself so hard? All anyone ever tells me is how strong I am but then one little comment on The War Paint can crush me completely. It’s silly how fragile people (especially teens) egos are, we’re always in a battle with ourselves.

Personally, the battle I fight against myself is the hardest one I’ve ever fought. Not to mention the longest one.

Like the rest of this generation’s youth, I grew up with the Internet and as far as I’m concerned cyber-bullying has always been. People say things online that they would never have the guts to say in person. In generations gone by, a child who is just developing their sense of right and wrong, test limits. They may say to one of their peers, “you’re fat” and then see the person’s response and come to the conclusion that it wasn’t ok to say that hurtful thing- face to face- but now that’s not something they need to deal with.

On June 3, I got an anonymous comment on my blog saying “F**K YOU RILEY” and had that person had the tenacity to say that to my face, they may have realized that’s not ok. Look, I know I’m guilty of hiding behind my keyboard too and it’s an issue that everyone has to unlearn. We all have flaws, I know this is one of mine, even though I was a kid who learned things were wrong by dealing in person that changed when I hit puberty and I started to run from feelings.

Just ask my mother; I literally bolt in the opposite direction if I see her sniffle. It’s a real problem. I have no idea how many people I’ve hurt by just cutting them off entirely without having an adult conversation about it. I used to think it was because the other person was incapable of that conversation, but when the pattern repeats it self as often as it has; the one constant must be examined.

I’ve seen people broken in half by things that someone said anonymously, there have been reports of kids killing themselves because of Ask.fm (an anonymous question site). I get that sometimes it’s a “joke” and people take it more seriously than it was intended but the truth of the matter is that YOU CAN’T HEAR TONE VIA THE WEB! No one can tell if it’s said in a laughing and kidding manner or in a dead serious tone.

I’m pretty sure that whoever left that comment meant to hurt me (and they temporarily succeeded) but hey, if that’s what it took for the person to address all their issues with me, cool; but I doubt it so why not actually hash it out with me? Chances are that you deserve a chance to express yourself and there are a million ways to do that, so why do we all go for the chink in the other person’s armour?