I wrote a piece a few days ago entitled Loneliness, Self-Importance, and Friends about pretty much just that. However, Riley called me on the fact that the post was far too depressing, and that I have to write something that has a hint of hope somewhere; a light at the end of the tunnel. So how do I do that when I have not seen that light in so long? The best answer I have to this is to live for the small moments.
Even if you are severely depressed, if you can manage to surround yourself with the right people, you can find small moments of contentment, comfort and even happiness. Sometimes these moments only last for just that, a moment. Other times they can last for a few minutes or hours. Treasure them while you’re living them, and hold onto those feelings until the next one comes along. Eventually, hopefully, these moments will get you to the light at the end of the tunnel.
I know that when you’re feeling really down on life, when all you can feel and all you know is that you want to die, that this can incredibly difficult. I know that it feels like those moments of contentment, and comfort, and happiness are so few and far between that the amount of suffering it takes to live between each one feels like far more pain than it is worth. But I also know how far one good moment can take you. It can be so hard to see through the veil of a mental illness, to not interpret everything through the lens of “no one cares. I’m alone. They’d all be fine without me,” and honestly that veil and that lens are still there in the good moments, but there’s something that’s different. It’s not something that’s easy to put into words, but it lets you know that it is possible to be ok. It lets you know that at some point, maybe not too far from now, even if you can’t see it, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
-Mr. Not Ok
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