Words

Words…they’re how we communicate with others and yet sometimes, when we want nothing more than to communicate how we feel, they are the toughest things to find. I struggle to find them when I’m with my best friend, when I’m with my high school social worker and psychologist, I struggled to find them when my parents found out about everything that’s been happening in my life over the past few years, and I am struggling to find them now as I type this post.

See, thing is, sometimes there are no words. The complexity that emotions can reach isn’t something verbal communication is designed for. Sometimes the only thing we can do to communicate how we really feel is to show it. Whether it’s holding a friend as tightly as possible, or leaving your house at midnight, going to a baseball diamond and throwing a ball at the fence until you collapse in tears. 

Personally, when I am at a loss for words, I turn to music. I turn to tales of friendship, hardship, love, growth, pain and even fun searching for answers. Searching for that one line that can make sense of a moment and a feeling that I can’t stay calm long enough to wrap my head around. It’s important to have a place to turn to; a place that’s all your own when the world around you won’t stop spinning and the feelings in your gut won’t stop churning. It’s important to find that something or that someone that can and always will wrap its arms around you and hold you until you feel safe. That is worth more than words.

-Mr. Not Ok