Give Sorrow Words

Life isn’t fair. It really sucks sometimes. This is a common feeling when you’re depressed and feeling bad for yourself but personally, it’s much more rattling when the subject of it is those I care about. There is nothing more I loath in this world then when it looks like my friends and family are being picked on; and there is nothing more frustrating than having no one to blame. 

I am angry right now, I am right pissed off. But have nobody to take it out on and no one to blame for it. How is one supposed to address a situation like this; where they aren’t actually my tribulations but another’s? I’ve found myself in this situation a few times in the last month and am at the point where I feel heavy with the burdens of them even though none of it is mine to carry directly. 

William Shakespeare said in Macbeth, “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break,”  and essentially that is all i’m trying to do right now. I can’t say I have any splendid words of wisdom to cope with grief or the precarious situations we find ourselves in as life goes on, but what I do know is that writing is good for me, it is my way of giving sorrow words and so here I am. 

My mother always says to me in times of stress, “what’s the next right thing you can do?” which is to say, what am I going to do in that moment in order to keep moving forward even if it’s just a little baby step. My baby step right now? I made a cup of hot chocolate, cried and then sat down to do what I know I can…write and then later I’ll probably settle down to some painting. 

If there is anyone reading this right now who is also feeling bogged down; whether that be with exams, family drama, trouble with friends, relationship issues or whatever else, you are not alone. I recommend you take a moment and do something to diminish that, something you know is just for you no matter how small it is (maybe go smell your Christmas tree, have a cookie, make some tea, writing in a journal, give a sibling/parent/friend a hug) whatever works.