People don’t belong in boxes. My story isn’t exactly simple, but whose is? We all have things people may not see at first glance. However, humans like to keep things in uncomplicated boxes, simple and easy to understand and explain; this not only applies to how we see the world but how we see each other. It can be frustrating and uncomfortable to sit with a notion that we may not totally comprehend, so in order to deal with that, we come up with our own way of simplifying in order to decipher it.
It can be really challenging to try and live in a box that someone else (or yourself) has imposed upon you. It inhibits your ability to to grow. We have all had someone look at us and decide who we are- regardless of if there is any truth to that verdict. Those perceptions can even seep into how we see ourselves. Trumpkin (from The Chronicals of Narnia; Prince Caspian) said, “You get treated like a dumb animal long enough, that's what you become,” which can be all too true for many. Nonetheless, we are all guilty of it.
Anyone who heard me in high school talking about my peers could see me doing just that; assuming I knew them at a glance. I was horrid for no reason beyond being frustrated with my own world. I took one look at their clothes, friend groups and party habits and stuck them in a box labeled Private School Princess. Completely unwilling to get to know most of their background stories, or who they truly were- I was content with my version. Meanwhile, when girls asked me if I self-harmed, got high or slept around because of how I dressed and who I hung out with, I was hurt and offended.
This still happens every day. I’m currently sitting in a lecture and most of us have taken one quick look at each other and made our assumptions. Why do we do that? Why do we need to box everyone in? I’m still judged for my behaviour in 10th grade because of a box someone put me in way back then. I escaped those confines a long time ago and yet I’m still expected to fit…because that would be easiest, if people just fit into the one small box they’re given and don’t move at all.
This is not a one-way street though. It can become easiest to give ourselves a box too. The most recent box I gave myself a while ago and only recently outgrew was my community therapist/ mental illness guru. The things is, I don’t want to be that person anymore, I have more to offer the world than a bit of personal experience with a few mental illnesses. Not to mention that I’ve effectively burned out in that field.
Side Bar: I sincerely apologize to those who have come to me with issues in this area and received a cold and/or sassy response. I assure you it’s not a personal comment, I’ve just become decrepit in this particular area. While I am happy to give advice here and there… I do not hold a degree in Psychology or Mental Health Studies.
I want to be able to move beyond my own mental illnesses and in order to do that I need to allow myself time to address them instead of distracting myself with others’. I have had to let myself out-grow that role, that box, that I had given myself so that I can continue developing as a person.
We all have the right to keep progressing and flourishing without restrictions given by ourselves or others. Remember that the next time you make a judgment on who someone else is, but also remember it when you think you can't do something. People can't define you in a moment, you can't define others at a glance, and everyone is more than one simple box.
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