Does anyone else feel like a relapse is almost inevitable right now? Whatever your demons are; alcohol, self-harm, food, drugs, etc. Are they screaming at you while you’re stuck in the house? Mine are. In fact, a vice that I haven’t indulged in since 2014 is nagging at my brain (on top of my usual issues).
I have lots of strategies to support my regular, day to day, mental health and many of them can be easily done while stuck at home; I knit, paint, listen to music, I recently started learning American Sign Language. However, my addiction issues and cravings require a more physical fix like getting out of my house and going for a walk, visiting my family, maybe doing a big workout session (despite my usual aversion to the gym), seeing a movie, etc.
To catch up anyone who hasn’t read this blog before, I have struggled with self-harm and alcohol since I was 15/16 and am 23 now. I haven’t self-harmed since 2014 when I scared myself because I got too drunk and ended up having a bigger scar than I had ever had before. When I’m having particularly low moments, these thoughts resurface in my head and right now, most of my strategies to move on from them are prohibited.
As you can see, I have had to go back to my high school blog to keep my brain doing something productive. I caught myself using other replacement strategies from high school, like snapping an elastic and dancing around my room while blaring music. I also have the added benefit of having a nine-month-old chocolate lab that needs to be walked, which at least gives me a pass to go outside now and then.
Another shameless plug for Frozen 2
I’ve seen a couple of news outlets including New York Post and Fox News run stories about a rise in drug and alcohol relapses due to quarantine and COVID-19. It feels like the gravity of how hard this is for people who are predisposed to the vices that everyone seems to be using right now is being lost.
SO…like everyone right now, I am just muddling through and if I come up with any magical antidotes I'll let you know. As previously mentioned, I am finding solace in venting my issues on the internet again; If you should find yourself needing to do the same, you are welcome to comment or message me on any social media. I'm literally always free for a chat...so don't hesitate.
Sometimes we live on the floor and that's okay
Comments
Post a Comment