My husband and I recently moved. As I’m sure many of us have felt lately, between quarantine and having nowhere to go even if we could go out, we felt stuck. My family was supposed to go on a trip to France this June, obviously, that didn’t happen. The school that I was working at moved online and the daycare I was at closed. My husband and I quarantined together for 2 weeks and then he returned to work, leaving me in the apartment with our dog and cat. I’ll admit that I did end up having long conversations with our pets in lieu of humans to talk to. When his workplace mentioned that there was an opportunity for him to transfer to another location, we jumped at the chance to move. Who doesn’t love a geographical fix?
While planning this move, I was trying to remain conscious that this couldn’t be a solution for me and my mental health challenges. It’s a tempting thought, “We’ll move and be in a fresh space and I’ll feel so much better about the world,” but unfortunately, the problems always seem to follow.
The geographical fix has some positives, especially when you’ve been cooped up for so long. A change can be refreshing and give your brain something to focus on for a little while (this was huge for me). The stress of packing up my apartment was a welcome change from feeling trapped in it. The space I’m in now has a lot more natural light and is prettier, that’s never a bad thing.
However, this fix didn’t alleviate the anxiety that has kept me picking at the side of my head for years; it has added anxiety as I try and find another job mid-pandemic. It didn’t make marriage easier; it actually resulted in us living apart for a month and a half. Undoubtedly, however much I tried to remember that this move was not intended to "fix" anything, I was caught off guard by the challenges it presented instead of solved.
I know a lot of young people, many of whom happen to have mental health issues, who have tried the geographical fix and been truly surprised when their old struggles came with. There are some obvious times of life when we all try it, right? Going to university or college can be a great chance to “escape” but sooner or later, you have to deal with the baggage you brought with you. There is no simple “cut and run” option.
Moving doesn’t count as self-care.
We don’t know what this new place will bring us but we can be sure, we’re still here.
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