The Lockdown, NFL, and Therapy

The end is in sight. As of a couple days ago, the Ontario government announced that all adults 18+ should be able to book a vaccine by the end of May. However, we are mid-lockdown that will (allegedly) lift the end of the month as well. We have been in one version of lockdown or another since March 17, 2020, it is a cold, rainy May and the world still looks very grey.
This year’s NFL draft was the third most-watched draft ever and for the first time, I count myself a part of that. Mostly because I have hit an unprecedented level of boredom but whatever, it was a  good time and now I’m learning about football. Why the hell not? I don’t have much else going on.

Dan Hanzus described revealing the Power Rankings as being, “An assassin of hope. The executioner of excitement. I take your half-full glass….and I smash it on the ground,” but later in the article exclaims, “Man, did the Bears need that. Hope! Excitement! The promise of a more compelling tomorrow!” We can’t help but look forward to something, anything! Even if that’s me attempting to understand why Justin Fields is a big deal. As of this moment, I am a fan of Joe Burrow, not necessarily because I love the Cincinnati Bengals but because last year Burrow got the absolute crap kicked out of him, and I would very much like to see things get better. For him. For me. For anyone who has suffered lately.

In the fall, COVID-permitting, I am going to drop my little sister off at school in Scotland, take a couple weeks to travel the UK with my brother, and then continue on to Royal Holloway, University of London. I will live in the same city as my best friend for the first time since we were 18. There are so many things to look forward to but they feel very far away and today I am too low to appreciate them in the abstract; instead, I’m learning about how a quarterback gets sacked 32 times in 10 games and why a wide receiver will help. 

My therapist keeps reminding me of all the things I’ve lost and things that have changed over the last year and a bit. This isn’t in an effort to bring me down or reopen wounds but to remind me that I’m not going through this wave of depression out of nowhere (as I keep implying). 2020-2021 has been challenging in ways nobody could have expected and we’re not quite at the finish line yet, but the end is in sight. We all have things that we hope to do when the world reopens but it’s okay if that’s too far away, what can you look forward to this week? I ran out of wall space to paint so I’m getting into football. It doesn’t have to be major, just motivating enough to get to the end zone.