Parents And My Disease

Parents. Those who give us life, clothe and feed us. Protection is in their nature and they want to make sure you’re safe and healthy.

When they’re kids are hanging out with stoners; they worry. When their kids are dressing inappropriately; they worry. When their kids are out at parties all the time; they worry. So what about when their child is hanging out with a depressed (or otherwise mentally ill) person?

This is something that seems to be a lot of parents’ genuine worry when their kids hang out with me lately. I’m beginning to feel a bit like a disease. Adults as a generally whole, like me; I’m polite and witty around them…but when all they hear is that I have a mental illness blog or am having a rough night (which is why their child is seeing me) then they get all panicky.

In past posts I’ve mentioned how suicide can spread. So are parents right to worry about their offspring spending time with me because I have depression? I think that’s a little bit unfair. No…it really makes me angry actually. The number of friends I have who don’t have depression or anxiety issues is very minimal; but their parents don’t all know and therefore worry that I’m contagious. That’s not how mental illness works. My friend Peter (who wrote This Isn’t Depression); I didn’t give him depression; we spend time together because we need the support of someone who gets this struggle. His parents don’t know his struggles so when I had a rough night and needed some company, they were concerned that I am too messed up to be hanging out with him. They aren’t the only ones who’ve expressed concern.

Yes, some bad ideas spread; I got different ideas about self-harm from friends of mine without actually meaning to and put them to use. Now, I don’t discuss anything to do with self-harm unless the person asks directly or we’re talking about their experiences because I refuse to be a trigger. I know that some people’s dark thoughts can bring others down around them but these parents don’t know me. I know what I’m doing when it comes to this stuff. I have two friends that I allow myself to be truly (and sometimes unnecessarily) dark around when I’m in that bad space and I know that those two can handle it or will tell me if they can’t.

I live by a general guideline; I don’t want to spread darkness; I want to alleviate it. 

I suppose that parents will be parents and they will always worry about their children but I think all kids deserve a chance to prove themselves. What if their child was the one going through hell and needed a hand up? Would it still be dangerous?