I am truly a very odd creature. I have spent the last week entirely consumed by Pinterest. For those who don’t know, Pinterest is a photo/idea sharing forum for everything (fashion, wedding ideas, travel, health and fitness, etc.) not unlike Tumblr, just more mature looking. It has taken over my life, I mean if you poked at my page you would think I’m 25, getting married, designing my first home and am going on a 3 month long trip to Europe. I am in fact not getting married, buying a home or traveling in any extensive way…I just like the idea of doing those things one day.
Allow me to explain why this brings me more joy than just the hope I may get married one day. I am looking forward to my life. As is true with most people, the future scares me as does the responsibility it will entail, but I am excited for it. That’s new. I used to be so consumed with depression and a generally gloomy outlook that I couldn’t see the light and hope that life can bring. Now I genuinely feel like I have something to look forward to. Even though I am still going through a dark time and some days are really challenging, I know I’m improving because I can see it. Is Pinterest a silly index of how my mental health is progressing? Maybe, but I used to have a Tumblr account covered in depressing and dark phrases and pictures, now I share things with hope and joy.
The future is terrifying but I’ve got some helpful tid-bits of advice recently that impacted how I look at what lies ahead. Firstly, I have enough battles to fight within myself regularly that, as it stands, are always going to come and go, so I don’t need to go looking for them elsewhere. There is no reason to make life more challenging than it already is; I don’t need to prove my strength to anyone. Secondly, since I am not sure what I want to do as a career, aim for the type of life I want to have and work towards that. Some people know exactly what they want to do with their lives and are willing to accept whatever conditions that may bring; I don’t but I know how I want to eventually end up living, so it makes the most sense for me to work towards that and then let the details fall around it.
I am completely making it up as I go. I have my “foot in the door” of approximately 3 potential careers and am considering at least 2 more. Yes, thinking about my future home and wedding is a little ridiculous but at least it means I am looking ahead. I know that I don’t know what I’m doing and I don’t always feel strong and capable of accomplishing everything I hope to do. However, I am still hopeful, I still have things I want to do and I am learning that if I keep plugging away, I can get there one way or another.
Well that is pretty amazing. We need to live in the moment and not forget to be grateful for what we encounter each day. Tomorrow is always a new beginning.
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